blog your heart

I have followed Stephanie's blog for a couple of years now. I came upon the blog for page layouts/projects but over the years have found myself laughing at many similarities of having four children, especially a girl who swallows a penny! Many times when I am sitting at the computer going through my blog roll, Wyatt will ask me to show him those cute babies,. He is referring to her sweet little twins, they are darn cute! I decided to jump on her bandwagon with blog your heart, these are just random samplings of what is going through my head lately...enjoy

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.

3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

I cried this week, hard. I laid in bed and sobbed, for many reasons, I cleaned out bins to sell kids clothes and came across Wyatt's jammies when he was a chubby little guy and it broke.my.heart. 

Grace has been gone so much at volleyball and I miss her. Right now she is with the team at Cedar Point and won't be home until midnight. As soon as she gets home I am going to snuggle up with her, I miss her so much when she is gone on the weekends!

I LOVE my job, I know that sounds so crazy/kiss butt, but I do. I love going to work each day and I love that working makes me a better mom, and person. I learn so much everyday at work it amazes me at the end of the day. I am exhausted at the end but feel so blessed to be in the situation I am in. 

I need to get over what I think is 'normal/traditional' and do what works best for me and my little people. My main concern is them, as would be expected, I make mistakes, I probably do a couple of things right, but they need to know that life isn't perfect and things are a struggle and we can overcome that. 

I wish I cleaned my house more, I know you are not supposed to wish that but a clean organized house makes me happy, I do not have that now and it stresses me out. I am crabby when things are out of order.

Sometimes my third child scares me, because she is me

I swear too much, I need to f'ing stop.

I miss my dad. I am glad that he is happy in Florida, but it is weird that I want him to be back here. I didn't see him that much here, talked more, and I like the fact he lives somewhere warm where they can enjoy the warm weather, heck I wish I could do that! I wish he could see Grace play volleyball everyday though, he would love how hard she is working and how much she is improving. He would like it that when we are walking through Target, the grocery, into Starbucks just about everywhere, she is counting her steps and saying left, right, left hit, to work on her approach. 

Some weeks I wonder if I am going to be able to buy groceries, but some how I always make it through.

I am getting old and it really bums me out! I used to be a rockstar! It is probably a good thing, but I just cannot do it anymore. I love being at home with my little people around me, just me and them. 

I am trying to be a prayer, I keep forgetting but I really do want to try.

Visit Stephanie's blog to read others who linked through BYH. What a great way to find new blogs to stalk follow!